"Messiah Complex" - Track by Track Descriptions

A NOTE ON THE CONCEPT:

The concept of this album is pretty simple actually. Track by track it describes the journey of a man who believes he will single handedly bring about the destruction of mankind and the world. It is similar to the concept for Manson’s Antichrist Superstar; however, where his character destroys himself at the end, mine decides to go another way.

This is an exploration of my darkest and most destructive nature...


1) SEVEN

Seven is the last poem in my first poetry anthology Shackled to Creation. Each piece of writing or collection of writing describes a certain step in my journey, all of them follow a certain path or arc. So this poem was to end the anthology and lead into the Messiah Complex album. It is really the introduction to the album, describing the character whom I was going to explore. The piece describes a very destructive being who feels like his sole mission is to bring about the end of mankind as we know it. It is an end and a beginning. An end to the first era of my evolution, which was my older writing, and the beginning of “The Destroyer.”

I haven’t even begun,
But this is your finale.
My overture will start momentarily.
But for now,
Wait for me, my darlings.
You won’t live for much longer.

2) SKIN LIKE YOU

Skin Like You is a very odd song not just for the way that it sounds. It was created from an older piece of writing that I never finished. I dug my old scribblings for this up and decided it would be good for this album. The other reason it’s an odd song is that the other half of the song was inproved while I recorded it, that’s why some of the spoken lyrics are not in the written lyrics. This song is second in the album because it is the next logical step in the evolution of The Destroyer. This track is him coming out of his shell (kind of a birth) and discovering who he is and what his mission is in life. He looks at himself and other people around him and questions how they are similar and how they are different.


3) THE ANTICHRIST SCENARIO

I think this one’s pretty self explanatory. This is actually a poem I wrote two years ago for a creative writing class, but my teacher wouldn’t let me share it with the class. Now I’m sharing it with the world. It is my take on the Antichrist, what or whoever that may be.



4) DESTROYER

The first line of this song was inspired by a part of the Sage Francis song The Time of My Life: “The year made me a dragon, the month made me a scorpio.” This made me think of my own signs. I am a scorpio, however the year made me a snake, so I have to live with the fact that I’m a snake and not a dragon. Then the rest of the song evolved from there. This was really the first “real” attempt at writing a rap song for the album, and it’s kinda obvious compared to the other rap on the album. Anyways, to the concept... This is the real defining track for the character in the album. It’s when he decides that he wants to be destructive instead of creative. He’s angry and people better get ready to die.


5) HANGING ON A TWISTED CROSS

This is one of my favorite tracks on the album and I think this is because it has a distinctively different sound than all the other tracks. It was also created from bits of unfinished lyrics that I had scribbled in notebooks. And it’s definitely got a Manson-ish feel to it, at least to me. This track is really where the “Messiah” reference starts to come into play. He’s portraying himself as sort of an evil Jesus, angry that he’s being crucified or martyred. Even though “Messiah” means savior, I use this as the title despite the fact it is obvious the main character wants to destroy humanity. But in his head he feels like he’s really saving them through their destruction. Saving them from themselves.


6) VISIONLAND

Visionland was song I actually wrote a while back. It was intended to be a “sung” song not a “hip-hop” song. But I think it works the way I sort-of rap it. Eyes are the big theme in this track. It’s the first time this theme has popped up in this record, but it is a very prominent theme in my first poetry anthology: references to people only being able to see once they lose their eyes. What can you see with those empty eye sockets?


8) FEVER DREAM

Fever Dream is the first single off of the album, which inspired the B-side REM is Masturbation which is not on the album. It’s a new song I wrote and is the first hip-hop-y sounding track on the album. The song doesn’t directly relate to the concept of the album, however it is deeply personal and describes actual dreams that I have had. And when you think about it, the whole album can be described as one long fever dream.

The first verse of the song describes one of the weirdest dreams I have ever had. It takes place in a one room apartment that’s almost completely bare. The apartment is very old looking with a dirty, cracked wooden floor. The walls are dirty white and there are no windows. In the middle of the room is a “christmas tree” (pine tree) with no ornaments on it. Hiding inside the branches is a naked girl about nine years old. An old man that walks with a cane appears in the room and approaches the tree. He grabs the girls wrist and pulls her hand out into the air. The old man produces a straight razor from his pocket and proceeds to skin the girl’s hand with it. Then the dream ends.

The first part of verse two describes another strange dream I had. In this dream I am held captive in an abandoned factory. This factory has been deserted for a long time do to it is crumbling and broken up inside. All four sides are surrounded by high corn fields and is guarded by wolves in case I try to escape. I remember thinking in the dream that they locked me up in here because they knew I was going to destroy the world. Then I break out of the window of the factory and sprint over the tops of the corn stalks until I am overtaken by the wolves.

And then I started thinking about the girl I was with at the time... And yeah... The fetus infected my relationship again and I decided to write about that in verse three. And the last two lines before the last line of verse three were inspired by something that was said to me by the girl I was with the summer of 2009. She said (paraphrased): I know you think you’re suffering makes you a better artist. So I felt angry and basically as a fuck you to her said (in the song) that I don’t give a shit if she kills herself, it would just make me a better artist. And the last line is a reference to “Vision Forum” which is a Christian organization that does a lot of different things, but there is a speaker that’s part of vision forum that talks a lot about filmmaking and how he thinks most filmmakers have a “Marxist agenda.” So that’s where the last line comes from.


9) I KILL WITH MY CUNT

I do not own any part of this track. It’s completely sampled from the film Liquid Sky, which I was watching a lot while I wrote this album. I thought it was appropriate to use it since it explored androgyny, the rock star mentality (which goes along with the Messiah Complex), and a destructive nature.


10) KILLER OF LAST THINGS

I wanted to have a track on this album that explained The Nilotic. This track is a complete adaptation of the character from the book Sacrament by Clive Barker. Jacob Steep refers to himself as the killer of last things and that’s why I titled the track that, going along with the theme of destruction.




11) GODDAMNIT

This is another poem I wrote for my creative writing class but my teacher wouldn’t let me share. This track is supposed to be the turning point of the album, where The Destroyer begins to change again. He is still holding on to his idea of destroying the world, but he’s beginning to see that it is destroying himself as well.


12) HUMANIMAL

Another completely new hip-hop song I wrote for the album. This track is when The Destroyer begins to realize that he is just an angry immature child and in turn gets more pissed off, and for a brief moment becomes more self-destructive and resigned to the fact that he’s this less-than-human evil thing. The intro is sampled from the film Liquid Sky. However, at the end of the song there is a brief glimpse of something new, The Destroyer may still want to do something with his life even if it isn’t as catastrophic. He still feels like he has something to teach.


13) OPPOSITE MAN

Opposite Man is my favorite song on the album and also the most personal. Most of the tracks on this album are rather angry, but this one is sad and reflective. This is when I decide to try and give up the whole “destruction of mankind” mentality but still continue on my journey and see where it takes me.

This song was inspired by a classmate of mine who has a lot of different opinions than I do. One day he called me the “opposite man” and this song grew out of that. I reference Voltaire in the first verse and the line after that is just reiterating that I think you should have the right to say those things even if I don’t agree with it. And the line before The Sound is very tongue-in-cheek and ironic. :)

The line “Who’s the enemy if the whole world is my home?” is a little taste of things to come. The more creative/spiritual side of me. The one that’s connected with nature and the universe, the one who doesn’t want to be destructive, who doesn’t want to be separate, who wants to love. After that I mention Mysterious Skin which is my favorite movie. My taste in movies is very different than a lot of people’s because most of my favorites are very depressing. And the majority of my top movies explore child abuse in some way, which I relate to in many ways.

The chorus is pretty much just all of the different titles I have referred to myself as in my writing (Destroyer isn’t in there because I never really referred to myself as that until these song descriptions).

In the second verse I describe myself as being four years behind; this isn’t the first time I have said this in my writing. After that I explore communication breakdowns a bit. I have a really hard time reading people sometimes, especially girls. And more often than not I interpret unspoken communication in the wrong way.

Verse three shows that I still feel like I have a purpose and I will still strive for it. I will still shake the world, but not through killing everyone. A lot of people underestimate me, but I’ll show you more than you’re willing to comprehend or foresee.


14) OUTBOUND TRAIN

Outbound Train is the final track and the only song that could have ended this record. It shows that there may be hope for something different; something not so destructive. This is when I come to terms with the fact that some of these visions may be just delusions and I don’t have enough power to destroy the world. Then maybe there’s another way, maybe helping or saving might be the key. But then again I question why would I want to save a world that rejects me?
Believing that I am the sole destroyer of the world, the angry killer, is not productive. There must be another way.

Sex isn’t everything but everything is sex
Please help me discard this messiah complex

This is an end, but it’s also definitely a beginning...