"Messiah Complex" - Track by Track Descriptions

A NOTE ON THE CONCEPT:

The concept of this album is pretty simple actually. Track by track it describes the journey of a man who believes he will single handedly bring about the destruction of mankind and the world. It is similar to the concept for Manson’s Antichrist Superstar; however, where his character destroys himself at the end, mine decides to go another way.

This is an exploration of my darkest and most destructive nature...


1) SEVEN

Seven is the last poem in my first poetry anthology Shackled to Creation. Each piece of writing or collection of writing describes a certain step in my journey, all of them follow a certain path or arc. So this poem was to end the anthology and lead into the Messiah Complex album. It is really the introduction to the album, describing the character whom I was going to explore. The piece describes a very destructive being who feels like his sole mission is to bring about the end of mankind as we know it. It is an end and a beginning. An end to the first era of my evolution, which was my older writing, and the beginning of “The Destroyer.”

I haven’t even begun,
But this is your finale.
My overture will start momentarily.
But for now,
Wait for me, my darlings.
You won’t live for much longer.

2) SKIN LIKE YOU

Skin Like You is a very odd song not just for the way that it sounds. It was created from an older piece of writing that I never finished. I dug my old scribblings for this up and decided it would be good for this album. The other reason it’s an odd song is that the other half of the song was inproved while I recorded it, that’s why some of the spoken lyrics are not in the written lyrics. This song is second in the album because it is the next logical step in the evolution of The Destroyer. This track is him coming out of his shell (kind of a birth) and discovering who he is and what his mission is in life. He looks at himself and other people around him and questions how they are similar and how they are different.


3) THE ANTICHRIST SCENARIO

I think this one’s pretty self explanatory. This is actually a poem I wrote two years ago for a creative writing class, but my teacher wouldn’t let me share it with the class. Now I’m sharing it with the world. It is my take on the Antichrist, what or whoever that may be.



4) DESTROYER

The first line of this song was inspired by a part of the Sage Francis song The Time of My Life: “The year made me a dragon, the month made me a scorpio.” This made me think of my own signs. I am a scorpio, however the year made me a snake, so I have to live with the fact that I’m a snake and not a dragon. Then the rest of the song evolved from there. This was really the first “real” attempt at writing a rap song for the album, and it’s kinda obvious compared to the other rap on the album. Anyways, to the concept... This is the real defining track for the character in the album. It’s when he decides that he wants to be destructive instead of creative. He’s angry and people better get ready to die.


5) HANGING ON A TWISTED CROSS

This is one of my favorite tracks on the album and I think this is because it has a distinctively different sound than all the other tracks. It was also created from bits of unfinished lyrics that I had scribbled in notebooks. And it’s definitely got a Manson-ish feel to it, at least to me. This track is really where the “Messiah” reference starts to come into play. He’s portraying himself as sort of an evil Jesus, angry that he’s being crucified or martyred. Even though “Messiah” means savior, I use this as the title despite the fact it is obvious the main character wants to destroy humanity. But in his head he feels like he’s really saving them through their destruction. Saving them from themselves.


6) VISIONLAND

Visionland was song I actually wrote a while back. It was intended to be a “sung” song not a “hip-hop” song. But I think it works the way I sort-of rap it. Eyes are the big theme in this track. It’s the first time this theme has popped up in this record, but it is a very prominent theme in my first poetry anthology: references to people only being able to see once they lose their eyes. What can you see with those empty eye sockets?


8) FEVER DREAM

Fever Dream is the first single off of the album, which inspired the B-side REM is Masturbation which is not on the album. It’s a new song I wrote and is the first hip-hop-y sounding track on the album. The song doesn’t directly relate to the concept of the album, however it is deeply personal and describes actual dreams that I have had. And when you think about it, the whole album can be described as one long fever dream.

The first verse of the song describes one of the weirdest dreams I have ever had. It takes place in a one room apartment that’s almost completely bare. The apartment is very old looking with a dirty, cracked wooden floor. The walls are dirty white and there are no windows. In the middle of the room is a “christmas tree” (pine tree) with no ornaments on it. Hiding inside the branches is a naked girl about nine years old. An old man that walks with a cane appears in the room and approaches the tree. He grabs the girls wrist and pulls her hand out into the air. The old man produces a straight razor from his pocket and proceeds to skin the girl’s hand with it. Then the dream ends.

The first part of verse two describes another strange dream I had. In this dream I am held captive in an abandoned factory. This factory has been deserted for a long time do to it is crumbling and broken up inside. All four sides are surrounded by high corn fields and is guarded by wolves in case I try to escape. I remember thinking in the dream that they locked me up in here because they knew I was going to destroy the world. Then I break out of the window of the factory and sprint over the tops of the corn stalks until I am overtaken by the wolves.

And then I started thinking about the girl I was with at the time... And yeah... The fetus infected my relationship again and I decided to write about that in verse three. And the last two lines before the last line of verse three were inspired by something that was said to me by the girl I was with the summer of 2009. She said (paraphrased): I know you think you’re suffering makes you a better artist. So I felt angry and basically as a fuck you to her said (in the song) that I don’t give a shit if she kills herself, it would just make me a better artist. And the last line is a reference to “Vision Forum” which is a Christian organization that does a lot of different things, but there is a speaker that’s part of vision forum that talks a lot about filmmaking and how he thinks most filmmakers have a “Marxist agenda.” So that’s where the last line comes from.


9) I KILL WITH MY CUNT

I do not own any part of this track. It’s completely sampled from the film Liquid Sky, which I was watching a lot while I wrote this album. I thought it was appropriate to use it since it explored androgyny, the rock star mentality (which goes along with the Messiah Complex), and a destructive nature.


10) KILLER OF LAST THINGS

I wanted to have a track on this album that explained The Nilotic. This track is a complete adaptation of the character from the book Sacrament by Clive Barker. Jacob Steep refers to himself as the killer of last things and that’s why I titled the track that, going along with the theme of destruction.




11) GODDAMNIT

This is another poem I wrote for my creative writing class but my teacher wouldn’t let me share. This track is supposed to be the turning point of the album, where The Destroyer begins to change again. He is still holding on to his idea of destroying the world, but he’s beginning to see that it is destroying himself as well.


12) HUMANIMAL

Another completely new hip-hop song I wrote for the album. This track is when The Destroyer begins to realize that he is just an angry immature child and in turn gets more pissed off, and for a brief moment becomes more self-destructive and resigned to the fact that he’s this less-than-human evil thing. The intro is sampled from the film Liquid Sky. However, at the end of the song there is a brief glimpse of something new, The Destroyer may still want to do something with his life even if it isn’t as catastrophic. He still feels like he has something to teach.


13) OPPOSITE MAN

Opposite Man is my favorite song on the album and also the most personal. Most of the tracks on this album are rather angry, but this one is sad and reflective. This is when I decide to try and give up the whole “destruction of mankind” mentality but still continue on my journey and see where it takes me.

This song was inspired by a classmate of mine who has a lot of different opinions than I do. One day he called me the “opposite man” and this song grew out of that. I reference Voltaire in the first verse and the line after that is just reiterating that I think you should have the right to say those things even if I don’t agree with it. And the line before The Sound is very tongue-in-cheek and ironic. :)

The line “Who’s the enemy if the whole world is my home?” is a little taste of things to come. The more creative/spiritual side of me. The one that’s connected with nature and the universe, the one who doesn’t want to be destructive, who doesn’t want to be separate, who wants to love. After that I mention Mysterious Skin which is my favorite movie. My taste in movies is very different than a lot of people’s because most of my favorites are very depressing. And the majority of my top movies explore child abuse in some way, which I relate to in many ways.

The chorus is pretty much just all of the different titles I have referred to myself as in my writing (Destroyer isn’t in there because I never really referred to myself as that until these song descriptions).

In the second verse I describe myself as being four years behind; this isn’t the first time I have said this in my writing. After that I explore communication breakdowns a bit. I have a really hard time reading people sometimes, especially girls. And more often than not I interpret unspoken communication in the wrong way.

Verse three shows that I still feel like I have a purpose and I will still strive for it. I will still shake the world, but not through killing everyone. A lot of people underestimate me, but I’ll show you more than you’re willing to comprehend or foresee.


14) OUTBOUND TRAIN

Outbound Train is the final track and the only song that could have ended this record. It shows that there may be hope for something different; something not so destructive. This is when I come to terms with the fact that some of these visions may be just delusions and I don’t have enough power to destroy the world. Then maybe there’s another way, maybe helping or saving might be the key. But then again I question why would I want to save a world that rejects me?
Believing that I am the sole destroyer of the world, the angry killer, is not productive. There must be another way.

Sex isn’t everything but everything is sex
Please help me discard this messiah complex

This is an end, but it’s also definitely a beginning...

The Heartbeat of The Sage

The Nilotic Interviews Sage Francis

Nilotic: When was it that you first knew for sure that hip-hop and poetry was what you wanted to commit your life to? And how did this realization manifest itself?

Sage: I suppose like a lot of little kids I had dreams of being a performer. It seemed like a world without rules or responsibilities. All glory, no pain. I didn't really ever come to a clear conclusion that this is what I wanted to commit my life to. I've never come to that conclusion actually. The more I write, the more I perform, the more I work for the opportunity to keep creating more and performing more is how my discipline and obsession manifests itself.

N: Do you feel like spending so much time going to college and earning degrees helped you in the long run with your writing, music, and business? How so?

S: That's tough to say, because I did in fact sweat out multiple years of college. I didn't sweat it out with any particular career in mind though. I knew I was buying time. And, yes, that time was expensive. Too expensive. Wasteful really. I love getting paid to perform at universities now. It's amazing how much they're willing to pay out in a willy-nilly manner. Thank you. I'll take that. If I make as much money back performing at colleges as I spent on college then that's one of the greatest successes of my career. Anyway, back to the question. Do I think it helped me in the long run? Not really, no. But that's not to say that people can't do great things for themselves by going to college. I made the most of my time outside of class by joining organizations and doing a radio show. I was smart in some ways and dumb in other ways. Make no mistake about it. I didn't even know the order of months until I was in college so...ya know. I was a slow learner. Haha. College isn't for everyone, but for those who can freak the system then freak it. I'm most appreciative of the people I met, the friends I made, the poetry nights, and the radio station.

N: Was there ever a time when you felt like you wanted to give up on hip-hop? If so, how did you get through that?

S: I never want to give up the craft.

N: Mentally and emotionally how did you deal with the criticism of the part of your audience that didn’t understand you and wasn’t receptive to your work?

S: I accepted a long time ago that no matter what you do there will always be an audience who loves it and an audience who hates it. No matter what. And that doesn't mean what you're doing is great or horrible. What annoys me is people who only focus on the positive or the negative. You need to take it all in and remember that you ain't shit, they ain't shit, and the only thing that matters is that you're pushing yourself to express something that people like you will hopefully tap into. The people who can't tap into that...maybe they'll eventually come around. Maybe they won't. Maybe the people who can tap into it now won't be able to tap into it 10 years from now. The only time I found myself getting upset about negative criticism is when it looked like people were trying to frame me in a certain way before my art had an opportunity to represent me in an untainted manner. I don't really sweat that anymore. The most difficult part is over with.

N: Has the Strange Famous record label been as successful as you’d hoped it would be? And are fans embracing the new artists that you are giving opportunities to?

S: SFR is more than a success by normal indie label standards. But I'm a tough person to please. Ask anyone I've ever worked with. I am not pleased until every ceiling is cracked, and cracking ceilings from the underground is quite a process. I want the people I am inspired and entertained by to have as much support as I get or more. I decided to stop signing artists and focus only on those who are currently active within our roster. They are incredibly talented and if I can't get them the exposure they deserve then hopefully I can get them signed to a bigger label. There's almost no place for indies these days. That might be a defeatist thing to say, but if you knew what I've gone through over the past few years...the number of hours I've worked for free, you'd shit yourself. I don't need to run a label. I do it because I love my crew.

N: Does Strange Famous have an official media department that does music videos and films live shows of artists on the label?

S: No, there isn't an official media department. We're always on the look out for artists to commission and work with though. Most recently we used Kyle Harbaugh to do the "Earthmovers" video for B. Dolan and it's one of the most amazing videos I've ever been a part of. When I get jealous over the quality of work that's being done for SFR artists I know we're onto something good.

N: How do you find new artists to sign to Strange Famous, or do they come to you?

S: For the most part I signed artists that I came up with or knew through the years. There are a couple exceptions to that rule such as Curtis Plum and Dan le sac Vs Scroobius Pip. They were people who I discovered online practically by chance.

N: What is the concept/theme of your new album Li(f)e? Tell us a little bit about the record.

S: The album is brutally honest in a lot of ways. More than just "personal" but straight up honest. And that might sound like more of the same coming from someone like me, so I suppose what makes this one different than previous material is the style and song writing. There's definitely an anti-religious theme going on but that's part of the honesty I'm talking about. At this stage in my life I'm really sick of the influence that religion has on families, politics and the world. Of course there's also the different musicians and the fact that it's all live instrumentation on this album. That in itself is probably the most noticeable difference as far as sonics are concerned.

N: Do you think there is hope that Hip-hop can become more than just crack, hos, bling, phat rides, and Three 6 Mafia?

S: I don't believe hip-hop has ever been just those things. Even when those things were the most popular elements of mainstream hip-hop. It's always been much more than that.

Swimming Through the Brain Waters of B. Dolan

David Sherry (aka The Nilotic) Interviews B. Dolan of Strange Famous Records

Nilotic: How long have you been writing poetry? And have you always been interested in doing rap/music or did you also consider strictly spoken word performance as a means of getting your work out to the public?

B. Dolan: I've been writing poetry, raps, and stories since I was about 12 years old. My interest in writing sort of took hold around the same time as my interest in hip hop, though when I started writing it wasn't strictly hip hop at first. I discovered spoken word sort of by accident, in the midst of all that. I found myself at a poetry reading at a friend's college in Poughkeepsie, NY, and read something. Afterwards, someone told me I should checkout the Nuyorican Poets Cafe in Brooklyn, and that's where I sort of discovered the performance poetry scene and developed an interest in it. That's also where I started performing, and was pretty much met with immediate success... so I guess I got pulled into that world for a couple years pursuing different avenues within that. Though I eventually ended up rejecting almost everything that community produces and stands for. Heh.

N: How come you ended up rejecting that community?

B: There's a few poets out there who I'm willing to co-sign, and I consider to be great, important writers. For every one of them there seems to be a hundred really gross, pandering hacks. In some ways I think the game of performing poems for points encourages that... In other ways I think it's been a conscious movement of a certain group of artists, who've written themselves right out of any kind of relevance they might have had. I don't want to get into it too far or get too negative, but suffice it to say that you won't see me participating in or advocating that stuff anymore.


N: How has your experience been working with Sage, the other artists on Strange Famous, and your experience just being on the SFR label in general?

B: Well, of all the friends I've ever had or people I've ever worked with, none has ever come close to putting me on or having my back as Sage has. To be honest I don't even know how that came to be, or how I came to deserve that kind of support in his eyes. I've honestly learned the meaning of being 'humbled' by working with SFR. In the sense that you're being supported so powerfully it can make you stop and think 'hold up. am I good enough to warrant this?' hah. So, it's been good working with Sage, is the answer to that question. There's no way to quantify the things I've learned from being in that dude's presence over the years.

And, as it happened with SFR, and knowing Sage prior to SFR becoming a label and sort of "getting in on the ground floor," that's been really exciting and challenging as well. I feel very bound up in the story of SFR, and that it's more than just my 'label' in that sense.


N: What artists personally have been an inspiration to you when it comes to poetry and hip-hop?

B: There's too many to name, and I really draw inspiration from all kinds of art.... but, just to run down a kind of random list that gives an idea of the spectrum of things.... let's say... Werner Herzog, Big Daddy Kane, Michael Jackson, Stephen King, Klaus Kinski, El-P, Pharoahe Monch, Kool G Rap, LL Cool J, Scarface, Chuck D, Rick Rubin, Howard Zinn, Philip K. Dick, Philip Glass, Joe Frank... haha... I could go on like this for hours.

I watch a lot of movies man. I even run a semi-regular column on the SFR blog called 'Movie Time with Benjamin' where I recommend movies. David Lynch and Coppola are also two big inspirations.

I tend to do a lot of research when I write, and that research is sometimes literal and sometimes more mood-based... I use books and movies to keep me inspired in a way through those times, and make my brain work. Keep feeding it good stuff and good stuff comes out.

N: What are your thoughts on Saul Williams?

B: I dig Saul William's work a lot. He's someone I'd really like to work with at some point. He's another poet who outgrew that scene fairly quickly, as I think most of the good ones do. As a result of performing in New York and being around, I know a lot of people that Saul knows, and vice versa... and have even met and had a few conversations with him at times... not sure if he'd remember me though. He's a good poet and good people. And he's made some really exciting music in the past few years as well.


N: Was there ever a time when you felt like you wanted to give up on writing and music? If so how did you get through that?

B: Amazingly, no. After almost 20 years, there's never been a time where I wanted to give up. There were times when I wished I wanted to give up. When relationships were ruined and money was strained and my physical and mental health were pushed to the absolute brink. Hah. But even in those times I know that I can never quit, as sick as that is.


N: A lot of your material is very political. How come you chose politics as some of your dominant subject matter?

B: It's not really a conscious choice, it just sort of happens. I've always been politically minded, since I was very young. I guess if I had to trace that back to something it would be Public Enemy.... they sort of awakened that consciousness in me first, and then I just became obsessed with learning more. In 6th grade we had this thing called 'Young Authors' where you had to make a little book, write it and create the cover out of construction paper or whatever. Mine was about the assassination of JFK. If i remember I came to the conclusion that it was the CIA working in conjunction with the mafia. haha. I've always been this way man. I dunno. Problems with authority. Daddy issues. Lead paint.


N: It goes without saying that there is always going to be a part of the audience that doesn’t understand your message, or people that are angered by some of your words. Does this ever discourage you?

B: Not really. I'm also confrontational by nature. The time when I'm excited is when the shit is hitting the fan, in any given situation. I'm almost a student of conflict. When everything is cool and people are being polite and civilized, I'm busy studying their little ticks and searching for that hidden anger anyway... So either way, what I'm after is the conflict. So, when people get angry, that sometimes feeds me. Especially with something like the Bombzo performances. In that case I actually set out to incite as much anger as possible in the crowd, just to see what would happen.

As far as 'not understanding' my message, that's a different question. I try to hit people in the gut whenever possible, or to make things available at different levels of any given performance or song or piece... So that even if you're not necessarily engaging with it in the way that I am, there's something there for you.

At times I make things just to communicate with myself, and then I let other people see it. Thats what "The Failure" lp was about. It wasn't made with any consideration of audience in mind, really.

All in all I've never been convinced that I'd be able to communicate with anyone. So when communication breaks down I'm never surprised.

I understand accessibility though, and how it works. In some ways its one of many tools that an artist has at their disposal. Sometimes you want to be understood as plainly as possible, sometimes you want to be abstract, or somewhere in the middle... and you can open and close the blinds depending on how much light you want to cast on things at various times.


N: I understand that Sage Francis and yourself founded the site Knowmore.org. In your opinion, has this project been a success and are people embracing it the way you hoped?

B: It's been a success in the sense that the site is read by thousands of people every month, and continues to grow in readership. It's still my hope that the site will gain some kind of critical mass, in the way that Wikipedia has, and that volunteer editors will start to create that content on their own more. However, it's been growing steadily for sure.


N: Is your forthcoming album, “Fallen House Sunken City”, a concept album? What is the overall theme of the album?

B: It's not the kind of concept album you would call a concept album, but I had a concept I was 'writing around' while making it. It involved Atlantis, and a morbidly obese man trapped in his home. Lost people and lost civilizations, is the overarching theme, but the songs are made to stand very much on their own.


N: Personally, what do you see in Hip-hop’s future?

B: Ah. Hip Hop. That's a tough one to call. There's a lot of dumb shit that goes on under the umbrella of hip hop... a lot of dumb attitudes and expectations that fans have of artists. And that's lead some artists to do dumb shit, just to fill the mold rather than break out of it.

At the same time, there's continually new stuff that I'm excited about, though maybe the quantity of that has slowed down.

But there's at least a steady trickle of new hip hop that excites me most of the time... and by the way that has nothing to do with the genres that are imposed on rap.

'Commercial,' 'independent,' 'street,' 'emo' ... I don't really pay attention to any of that shit. I'm a fan of rap, and that includes Lil Wayne, Jay-Z, Cage.. even dudes like Diplo, even dudes like Curtis Plum. haha

But I'm getting into something that's hard to quantify, which is personal taste. And that's all my opinion on the future of hip hop really is. If I ran a major label I'd be speaking with more authority maybe... as it is I'm just a fan of rap like everyone else, really.



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Swim inside the brain of B Dolan and it’s hard to come back unchanged. It’s certainly been personally enlightening to hear his thoughts on art, poetry, his new album, the hip-hop scene, and Daddy issues. :)

He definitely needs all of our support for him and his new record! So pre-order it now at www.FallenHouse.com.

Much support for B Dolan and SFR!!!!!!!

“We’re at the fire! Where the hell are you?”

Coded Language

The Nilotic Reciting "Coded Language" by Saul Williams from Jacob Steep on Vimeo.